Tips on how to address problems facing elders/ seniors who are openly harassed, bullied or even subtly / covertly intimidated by families, peers, “so called friends”, landlords and others in their daily lives.
For more information or for a detailed discussion on the topic, please contact Tino Sequeira, Email: Seniorshelpingseniorcitizens@gmail.com Phone: +1-647-930-8466
What is the purpose of this blog?
•We will first identify examples of how elders and some residents of senior’s facilities face harassment, bullying, intimidation, and downright unfair practices.
•We will then look at some practical tips to deal with those negative experiences.
•We will provide you with some options to redress your grievances.
•If all else fails, we will provide you with one last solution if you are the victim of a Toxic Landlord and are helpless.
How do you identify an Elder Abuser or a Toxic Landlord in a Seniors’ Residence?
Here are some traits to familiarize yourself with, and to help you navigate these trying relationships:
•They are manipulative. …
•They are judgmental. …
•They take no responsibility for their own feelings. …
•They don’t apologize. …
•They are inconsistent. …
•They make you prove yourself to them. …
•They make you defend yourself.
How do you react to an Elder Abuser?
•Set limits. Elder abusers don’t do well with boundaries. …
•Pick your battles wisely. It’s tricky to balance being cordial with not wanting to normalize someone’s emotionally abusive behavior. …
•Recognize and distance yourself from their behavior. …
•Focus on the positive. …
•Utilize your support system.
•Be aware that you have choices and options that you can avail of for your safety and protection.
•Remember that you are not alone – there is someone who can and will help you.
The facts of life
•Some Elder Abusers including landlords and peers at some seniors’ facilities do not have compassion for senior residents. They do not understand that some of the residents are on the last leg of their journey on earth and therefore need to be treated with dignity and respect.
•Very often they are oblivious to the needs of seniors not realizing that one day they too will be in the same situation. At that time, they will not find people who are sympathetic to them.
•They treat seniors with disrespect because they believe that senior citizens do not have many rights nor the strength and courage to respond to their intimidation. They treat senior citizens just like subordinates – rather than being of service to them.
Some Examples of Intimidation by Alleged Abusers
•Uninvited nasty comments
•Alleged extortion for money
•Repeated disagreements
•Filing of false police complaints to silence brave elders
•Gossip and condescending actions
•Ignoring simple requests
•Criticizing every action
•Abusive language /Aggressive behavior
•“Peer to Peer” bullying
•Downright violent and criminal behavior!
Few examples of “Peer to Peer” Bullying
1.Elders bullied by other elders in the same building or nearby due to several factors:
(a) Disparity in economic status
(b) Superiority complex
(c) Jealousy
(d) Education
2.Elders bullied by elders due to caste, or creed
3.Elders bullied by other elders due to family ties
4.Elders bullied by other elders due to past animosity which have not been addressed in a timely fashion.
5.Elders bullied by other elders due to guilt complex
Examples of Intimidation by Toxic Landlords at Seniors’ Living Facilities
•Landlord does not address repairs in a timely fashion.
•Landlord ignores bullying by other residents.
•Landlord does not pay attention to suggestions from residents – however valid or important they may be.
•Landlord issues condescending instructions.
•Landlord does not provide freedom to the resident’s association to be independent and encourages tainted election to keep favorites on the Executive.
•Residents on any rental subsidy are scared to complain to anybody.
•Landlord does not endeavor to make any improvements to assist residents to better they lifestyle.
•Landlord does not provide regular information on evacuation and other safety measures in the event of any emergency.
So, what do you do when you are a victim of Elder Abuse (or a victim of Toxic Landlord at Seniors’ Residence)?
Follow the steps and the tips in this blog and at least learn to know your rights and empower yourself to deal with any harassment, bullying, intimidation by any individual or group of individuals, whether family, “friends”, landlord, banks, businesses, government offices, politicians, police, etc.
Tip No.1:
Develop a buddy system in your residence, either your neighbor or someone whom you like and trust in the building and exchange phone numbers and keep in close touch with each other.
Tip No.2:
It is imperative that when you are under stress due to any abuse, you must talk to your doctor and seek medical and or emotional relief and above all, obtain a letter from your doctor confirming your physical and emotional condition at the time of your abuse. DO NOT KEEP SILENT if you are worried or bullied or have any health issues.
Tip No.3:
If you were badly treated or bullied or insulted either by a family member, or business or the landlord or the staff or other residents, flat owners, etc. talk to someone, your buddy, your family, etc. but, DO NOT KEEP THE PAIN INSIDE. I repeat, talk to someone and you will feel better. Perhaps that person may have a solution.
Tip No.4:
Take pictures, if possible, of any evidence you believe that would strengthen your case, for example pictures/videos of the incident your being bullied or harassed, or of the damages in your apartment which are not being addressed, etc.
Tip No.5:
Keep records of all pictures, videos, tapes, emails, letters, phone calls, etc. pertaining to your harassment or living conditions. When you make or receive calls, send an email to confirm the phone conversation.
Tip No.6:
Keep a diary of important events – both good and not so good. For example if you received an award or a prize enter the date and the event. If you were badly treated or bullied or insulted either by your family or neighbors or the landlord or the staff or other residents, document those events , particularly the dates and if there were any witnesses.
Tip No.7:
If the harassment or intimidation continues, you have several options to seek help:
•Contact the Local Police Station
•Contact Seniors groups in your area or go to https://cnpea.ca/en/what-is-elder-abuse/get-help/ontario
•Inform your Doctor
•Seek solace in your church, temple or mosque
Things to do when you are a victim of SERIOUS Elder Abuse
In case of emergency call 911
LOCAL POLICE
Call your local police if the situation is not an emergency but you suspect it might be against the law. Ask to speak to someone who has been trained in senior abuse, or domestic/family violence.
Elder Abuse Ontario – www.elderabuseontario.com
In Ontario, there are a number of Programs and Services available to help to seniors (their families and caregivers) who are experiencing or at-risk of elder abuse.
Agencies can provide options and support in helping to resolve abusive situations. Listed below, are but a few provincial organizations, that provide information and referrals to agencies which can provide further assistance, specific to the area in which you reside.
To access additional services and programs in Ontario for help, please refer to the Community Links or the Directory of Programs and Services Database.
Seniors Safety Line (SSL)
The SSL provides contact and referral information for local agencies across the province that can assist in cases of elder abuse. Trained counsellors also provide safety planning and supportive counseling for older adults who are being abused or at-risk of abuse. Family members and service providers can also call for information about community services.
Seniors Safety Line: 1-866-299-1011 FREE
211
Call 211 if you have a concern about a situation of inappropriate or abusive behaviour affecting the well-being of an older person. All information you may share will be kept confidential.
You can also call or visit the 211 Ontario website for general information, referral, and support to seniors and others for all programs and service in Ontario. It is a place anyone can call for information.
Advocacy Centre for the Elderly
Advocacy Centre for the Elderly is a community based legal clinic for low income senior citizens. ACE provides direct legal services to lowincome seniors, public legal education, and engages in law reform activities. ACE services and activities are in relation to areas of law of special importance to the seniors’ population.
·Phone: 416-598-2656
Law Society Referral Service (LSRS)
Law Society Referral Service will provide you with the name of a lawyer or licensed paralegal who will provide a free consultation of up to 30 minutes to help you determine your rights and options.
·Toll Free: 1-800-268-8326 or 416-947-3330 (within the GTA)
Assaulted Women’s Helpline (AWHL)
Assaulted Women’s Helpline provides a free, anonymous and confidential 24-hour telephone and TTY crisis telephone line to all women in the province of Ontario who have experienced any form of abuse.
AWHL provides crisis counselling, safety planning, emotional support, information and referrals accessible 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
·Toll-free:1-866-863-0511 Website
ConnexOntario
ConnexOntario provides free and confidential health services information for people experiencing problems with alcohol and drugs, mental illness or gambling. We are funded by the Government of Ontario. ConnexOntario operates three helplines:
·Drug and Alcohol Helpline 1-800-565-8603 FREE
·Mental Health Helpline 1-866-531-2600 FREE
·Ontario Problem Gambling Helpline1-888-230-3505 FREE
Crime Stoppers
Crime Stoppers is a civilian, non-profit, charitable organization that brings together the police services of a community, the media and the community in the fight against crime.
For the closest Crime Stopper Program to you. You will remain anonymous. You do not appear in court.
·Toll Free: 1-800-222-TIPS (8477) Website
Victim Support Line
The Victim Support Line (VSL) is a province-wide, multilingual, toll-free information line providing a range of services to victims of crime.
The VSL offers:
·Information and referral to support services in your community
·Access to information about provincially sentenced offenders. You can also register for automated notification when an offender’s status changes.
·Toll-free: 1-888-579-2888 FREEor 416-314-2447 in the Toronto area
Legal Aid Ontario
Legal Aid Ontario provides legal assistance for low-income people.
Services include legal representation for eligible clients who appear in court without a lawyer; legal aid applications and information over the phone; legal resources and referrals to other social assistance agencies; and a certificate program for complex and serious cases. Get legal aid help in over 200 languages.
·Toll Free: 1-800-668-8258 or 416-979-1446 in Toronto
Things to do if you are a victim of Toxic Landlord Syndrome at a Seniors’ Residence
If after following the tips in the previous slides and if you live in a Seniors’ Facility and believe you are still helpless and if you know others who are facing the same situation as yourself, then, you have a choice to approach a lawyer and file a class action suite against the toxic landlord. Some of the benefits for this route are as follows:
•You don’t pay the lawyer as much as if you were fighting alone.
•Your case becomes stronger dealt with by numbers You may get a bonus
Note:
•Some of the information included in this presentation has been taken from:
•Many of the examples in this presentation are real life examples researched and observed by the author.
•The terms elders, seniors, senior citizens have been used interchangeably and have the same identity as people over the age of 60 years.
If you need further information on Elder Abuse, please send an email to:
SeniorsHelpingSeniorCitizens@gmail.com
Freedom to share information to the right audience 
Leave a comment